Literature Junkie Gifts

'You're lucky. My novel went straight to landfill.'

Edgar Allen Poe

First Novels.

"Now I really hate poetry."

Voltaire

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"Author does not do tricks."

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

The Book Lover

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"I'm in children's books, myself."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.