Literature Appreciation Gifts

"The stories are false. The names are real to stimulate sales."

Salon of Apartment 4-N

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

Library: 'The Wit & Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.'

One book... One book... One book...

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

The Bookworm

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

The DaVinci Code

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"