Literary Time Traveler Gifts

'To be honest, that's all most people read.'

The Vicious Rectangle

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'Literary sidelight: the day Kipling tried to be Kafkaesque'

Yea Olde Book Store Featuring Works on Paper

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Sundial Time

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'