Literary Lunatic Pillows

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Proust of Twitter

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'What have you got for the man who knows everything?'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Mr Punch's Illustrations to Shakspeare.

A General tries to get rid of peace.

"No, I don't think I have a book in me. I think I have a chicken in me."

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

Writer's Block Party

"I feel bad about Nora Ephron's neck."

The central metaphor of her novel was a fly.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'Yeah, my dad used to howl at the Moon before, but now he struggles to stay awake past sundown...'

T. S. Eliot

"See - that's how he's able to write all those plays."

'Houston, we have a problem. We're going to need a bigger toothbrush.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

James Russell Lowell

"How's this? 'Quoth the Raven, Nevermore, unquoth.' "

Customer complains about an asteroid in his food.

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'

An astronaut finds a dehydrated man on the desert of the moon.

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

'Stop staring at me!!!'