Literary Lawyer Pillows

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

Trial by Media

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"It's a play on words."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"So, what are you reading?"

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

"You have the right to remain silent, you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And, whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

"Let's take in a trial."

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

'Littering, Your Honor.'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

Out of Court Settlement

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

"...and how long have you been a smoked Kipper Grader?"

'And that m'lord concludes the case for the defence. . . '

'But you told me to try and look innocent.'

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

'Divorces ‘R Us' is etched in stone on a courthouse.