Literary Lawyer Gifts

Sense, Sensibility & Sid, Attorneys at Law. 'We cover all the bases.'

Trial by Media

"It's a play on words."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"So, what are you reading?"

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

"You have the right to remain silent, you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have the right to be here. And, whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

"Let's take in a trial."

Lawyer sees street sign: Parallel Paralegal Parking.

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

On second thought, your honor

'Littering, Your Honor.'

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

"Am I the party of the first part or the party of the second part?"

Out of Court Settlement

'... Yeah. That just means we aren't much good.'

"...and how long have you been a smoked Kipper Grader?"

'But you told me to try and look innocent.'

'And that m'lord concludes the case for the defence. . . '

"Now this is what I call a true work of genius. . . And I haven't even read it yet."

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."