Literary Laugh Pillows

Book Burp

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Look! No hands!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Jack London

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

Litteratti K9s.

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"Friday, YOU were my Secret Santa?"

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

Will Self deprecation

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean bout cats."

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

Ian Fleming

'Personally, I think your idea of writing nursery rhymes is dumb, Mother.'

The Old Man and the Noodle.

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

Sincerely Machiavelli.

"I say 'Au Revoir', Charles, because I'm moving in with a Frenchman."

Cheshire cat meets Cheshire dog

The Terror Of Folkenstein

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

Bestsellers/Memoirs (sort of).

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."

"I haven't written anything yet, but I'm looking for someone to ghostwrite my book 'how to delegate.'"

Wordilly Durdillies - Hammylet