Literary Laugh Pillows

Book Burp

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Look! No hands!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Jack London

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Litteratti K9s.

Will Self deprecation

"Friday, YOU were my Secret Santa?"

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

"Care for an oxymoron?"

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'Personally, I think your idea of writing nursery rhymes is dumb, Mother.'

Ian Fleming

"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean bout cats."

The Old Man and the Noodle.

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''

"I wrote it, dear...the Great American Password."

Sincerely Machiavelli.

"I say 'Au Revoir', Charles, because I'm moving in with a Frenchman."

The Terror Of Folkenstein

Cheshire cat meets Cheshire dog

'Baskerville, that's right: The Hound killed by Sherlock Holmes was one of my ancestors...'

"I haven't written anything yet, but I'm looking for someone to ghostwrite my book 'how to delegate.'"

Bestsellers/Memoirs (sort of).

A sign in the front window of a bookstore says "Meet the Pope 2 p.m."