Literary Gladiator Pillows

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

"I feel your pain."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"So, what are you reading?"

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Football.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Punishment for the kicker.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

"She can be outspoken."

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

Football Blockers.

"Are you not infotained?!!"

Monster chariot races

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'