Literary Dualist Gifts

"Impressed? Don't be. I also read trash."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Sue the Author 3PM

"Oh, this old thing?"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

"Barb's such a fast reader."

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

Moby Dick

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

Treasure Island Book.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Kid to boy in library: 'Oh, we came at the busiest part of the day ... it's a reading frenzy.'