Literary Classic Lover Pillows

Although Frankenstein turned out to be a homicidal maniac, he did surprisingly well in finishing school.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"You're going to hate yourself."

Victor Hugo

Tut and Carmen.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

Out To Lurch

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

Distractions Of The Great

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

The Demise of Tinkerbell

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

Joan Hickson

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Iris Murdoch