Literary Buffs T-Shirts

"Sorry, but we left your heart in San Francisco."

Don Quixote

"It's my first novel."

Keats and Shelley are fascinated by those poetry slams.

"I prefer "Scarecrow to "Straw Man.'"

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

'Don't tell me. More last minute editorial changes.'

'Actually, they like to read, but so little is translated into dog.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

The Headless Horseman's secret shame.

Arthur Conan Doyle, MD, observes a passerby who has touch stains on his fingers, paint on his trousers and plaster on his jacket, and quickly deduces the man is a slob.

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree, on the condition that in included some affordable housing for key workers.

"Yeah yeah, you went to Oz when you were a little girl and the rest of your life's been a bitter disappointment."

"I was sort of hoping that my National Book Award and two Pulitzer nominations would cancel out all that 'rotten husband/father/friend' nonsense."

"Before they went out of style, Tarzan found it quite practical to wear cargo shorts."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"Now I really hate poetry."

German Expressionist Breakfast

'I used to commute. Now I transform.'

John Bunyan

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

Audio Books

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Robocop and Juliet.

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.