Literal Thinker Pillows

"I didn't ignore the check engine light. I kept checking the engine and it was right there!"

Society for Taking Things a bit too Literally.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'Well, you told me not to walk through the kitchen in muddy boots!'

"I've run up the flagpole like you said and I'm just about to see how it flies."

"Your supermarket delivery."

"My therapist advised me to lighten up."

'It's not fair! Someone told me that this exam was a piece of cake but all you've given me is a sheet of questions and a pencil.'

'My dad says I need to apply some elbow grease.'

'I don't get it, Dad. If grandma's not a card player, then why did you say she's not dealing with a full deck?'

Bus Stop (bus hovering overhead)

'My Daddy wants me to give you the brush-off Freddie.'

Sale...Everything must go...

STRIP Hambone: Flossing the keyboard

'I know I said I ate like a bird, but I didn't think they would serve me bird seed!'

'Why did you drop her in church today?'

Wipe your feet.

Bookworms

It's not a figure of speech - this is the corporate ladder.

The town of Irony, Pennsylvania has long been known for being very literal,

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

No parking between signs.....

Well, yes, it's a free library, but...

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

"Jimmy's tracing his ancestors."

"What can you do with him?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Reasonableman