Literacy Advocacy Pillows

'No one read it.'

Hate Platforms

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'What does it say, Dad?'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

About the curriculum. The contemporary novel from Austen to Dickens...

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

'LOVELY school. But where's the library?' 'What's a library?'

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

Gold versus Knowledge

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"I hope you're not reading fake news."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."