Listener-in-chief Gifts

The psychiatrist.

Audio Books

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

Shell Pods

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

Attention Span Man

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"Boy, the Reverend sure has your number."

'I'm afraid turn out isn't as high as we'd expected...three of them misheard the date, five got the time wrong and everyone from marketing went to a hotel in Norwich by mistake.'

Onstage with the transgenic singers...

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

Science Applied to Art

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Patient is listening to the doctors conference about him.

My Mother Is Dead But Her Body Is Still Alive

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

'I think I'm highly insightful for my age and don't call me missy!'