Thoughtful Listener Gifts

'The problem is you let everyone else come first. Now we'll have to reschedule.'

Audio Books

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

Cares and woes.

Shell Pods

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

"Officer, I'd like to report... a sexual assault. I was at a part, this guy... he attacked me."

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Statue of Christopher Columbus

'She saw right through me.'

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

Science Applied to Art

'I don't know how you stand listening to people's problems all of the time, Doctor Barnes.'

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

'OK, nod a little slower this time. Then let's work on saying 'mm-hmm, go on' ...you try it.'

"I suppose it should be enough that I heard it."

4th of July and PTSD

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Patient is listening to the doctors conference about him.