List Manipulator T-Shirts

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'I've got it written down...'

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

"How long do you think we'll get away with it?"

"Oh, no! My bucket list!"

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

Two men who work for The Federal Department of Bureaucracy look at chart 'Things to Pretend to do Today'

"Johnny is absent minded, lazy, easily distracted, loaf of bread, milk, half a pound of cheese...."

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

"Thanks, I'll write that down."

"Whoa, too much information!"

'I started making a list of things to do this morning, and before I knew it, it was quitting time.'

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

Turning a business graph around to get a positive reading.

"I'd like to make a list. What do we kick when we die?"

"You're on kid. Break a string!"

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"I always create to-do lists."

'It's guaranteed for one year.'

'Captain? The boat is listing badly.'