Playful Manipulator T-Shirts

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'You may now kick the bride.'

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

Mice Cream

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

'Tell them there'll be no retaliation, then check with the chiefs of staff, the media and our major allies what leeway we have in the adapted dissuasion department.'

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

Jumble Sale

'That was nice of them to order us a new scratching post!'

The Gong

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Call it Tough Love.

'I was cleaning my catapult and it went off.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Closet.

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

'Please stop...it reminds me too much of the markets.'

Beard, socks and sandals.

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

School of Classical Music vs Harmonica Lessons.

Candles In Bed

'I'll put one end of the hose in your pool...you take the other end outside...gravity will create a siphon and drain the water with no mess.'

A man playing with a baby