Liquor Store Manager Mugs

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

A Good Batch.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

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"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Wanna talk about it?

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

SupermarketAwful Market.

'They're both nice - which can you ill afford least?'

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Self-Checkout.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

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You have had enough

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

'I've drawn up a health and safety policy for the company.'