Liquid Artist T-Shirts

'We never sell a wine before it's time. We're still waiting for our first big sale.'

Bartenders making cocktails

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

'You can't come in here with that.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

California Beverages Map

My first mistake.

"I'm addicted to water."

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

'I'm worried that I might have slept through my 'fifteen minutes of fame'.'

'He's judging our reserve pinot noir - five years to produce it, five seconds in his mouth.'

Bach Doubles

'Once I get started I drink like a fish.'

"The first thing newcomers seem to want to do is make a 'cloud angel'."

"My wife thinks I'm out looking for a job..."

'A quick one, Tommy. I'm running on empty.'

'What have you got in the way of a Cabernet Sauvignon for people who like Zinfandel when they can't find Merlot?'

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

"For a full third of my life I didn't drink. I was asleep!"

'Actually I was trained to be a chemist, but I'm learning fast.'

"I paint only what I love..."

'When I told him we had no wine, he just kept going.'

Aprés-ski, Aprés-curl, Aprés board

'Without you as a friend, I'd be a hopeless drunk by now'

'...and how did the acupuncturing go?'

Skywriter parachutes out of plane after writing 'I QUIT'.

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?

"It's important to get those drinks to those who need them the most."