Linguistic Acrobat Pillows

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

Shampoo.

Campaign for Plain English

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I stand corrected."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

How a poet works

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

'Looks more fun than it is. I never realized pole dancing was so tough.'

Artichoking victim

Heart To Heart

Dolphin tricks.

"I think I've eaten something that hasn't agreed with me."

"I've been window-shopping..."

Wordplay: Mandate - Escort Agency.

Translating . . . poetry.

'I don't like this part. 'Please find enclosed the inclusion of my enclosure'.'

"It's a stream of consciousness novel like 'Ulysses' I just sort of sat down and wrote it without even thinking of a plot have you had drink I', going to get a seat where do you come from it's hot in here I like blue do you like blue..."

"It's the first week of school and already I have a 10-page report due tomorrow!"

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

"You think you're pretty holy, huh!"

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'Doctor, my speech bubble has slipped!'

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

"You don't need to sacrifice good grammar in order to talk dirty."

'What does surrender mean?'

Simultaneous translation.

'I think it's finally accurate to say that literally everyone is misusing the word 'literally'.'

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.