Lineage Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'You know I've always told you you were the last of the Mohicans? Well, there was this sqaw...'

Several generations live together in Cuba

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'That's true son..Money can't buy happiness. But it makes being unhappy a little easier to live with.'

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"You get your hair from your father's side..."

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"Son, one day all this will belong to your tax office, your economy-hating environmental wackos and your corrupt political clowns."

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

'I inherited therefore I am'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

'My husband's ancestors did come over on the Mayflower. The scraped them off the bottom of the boat.'

"Everyone here is alive because I got laid."

"Dad, are you absolutely sure I'm not adopted?"

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

"Can DNA testing really prove that George Washington was the 'Father if our Country'?"

'He says he too would be grinning were he to be adored all over the world.'