Lineage Detective T-Shirts

'I traced your genealogy. Better have a seat.'

B**tard, B**tard & B**tard - Genealogists

CIA report

Harry S. Truman

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

DNA Analysis.

Frankenstein's Ancestry

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

"It's five post meridiem in Central Europe. Compliled form the major networks the news is next."

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

'Dad, have you ever thought about researching our family tree?'

'Son, history is important because it's the story of our past that we rewrite to understand our present.'

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Ukraine Chasm

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

The Oil of Iran

'Okay, just be patient -- it could be months before they learn to obey all of these.'

'Sodding Sat Nav.'

Descartes's Demon

God changes His will.

'You DO believe me..don't you?'

"We've found your birth mother."

'Omigosh! According to your resume, we share the same father!'

'You really have little choice in the matter, Son -- you're a Bramwell, and we Bramwells have always been pompous asses.'

After spending months researching his family tree, Mr Henshaw could think of little else.

Genealogical picture of Mr. Punch.

The abduction of Europa

Thomas Hunt Morgan

"He thinks he's located a World War I torpedo boat. What's exciting at your house?"

Russian bombers in California

Explorers find cave painting of tanks vs deer.

Ancestry tracing service agency using a time machine.