Light Junkie Pillows

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

National Everything Awareness Day

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Spoiler alert."

"Siri, find oxygen."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"I've just been reincarnated, anyone here know what iphone we're up to?"

Mog The Week

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

Midwest Winter Items.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"It's the new self-driving model."

Ian Hislop

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Internet Cafe

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K