Light Junkie Pillows

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

National Everything Awareness Day

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"Siri, find oxygen."

"Spoiler alert."

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

Midwest Winter Items.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

'I love to see you all so busy!'

Man bombarded by sale adverts in the media

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"It's the new self-driving model."

"My self-driving car is wintering in Florida."

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K