Lifestyle Mavens T-Shirts

'Our lifestyle is watching lifestyle TV.'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Cat in a flap

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Trust

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

Macho Vegetarian

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

'Therapy in L.A.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Does it spark joy?

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

Life coach faces the Grim Reaper

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

Obese beer drinkers.

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.