Lifestyle Blogger T-Shirts

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

'Jimmy, I can't see!'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

Your lobster was off!

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'It's my favorite.'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"I always send a layover selfie back home, to let everyone know I'm safe."

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

Sister Cities

YONDER...next 347 miles.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"You're never home."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

"I have a job! I'm an 'I reporter!'"

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"Great tights!"

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'