Lifestyle Alignment Advocate T-Shirts

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

"Death coach..."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'Eat a balanced diet, walk daily and make prudent investments.'

Does it spark joy?

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"You should try yoga. It makes you relaxed, flexible and loose."

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

Work Out.

Eventual Motion Machine

"My mom won't let me eat snowflakes unless they're certified organic."

Cyclist

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

'Well, if you don't smoke or drink, stop chewing gum!'

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'I've got SO much on my plate right now, Steve - Ask me again when I'm fifty.'

"And this is where we add the natural goodness."

Fat cat running on treadmill.

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

'What I meditate on is we have rice and tea for lunch, and in the west they have burgers, fries and shakes.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."