Lifesavers Gifts

'Correct. And in the case of a cardiac arrest, every second counts. Who can tell me why? Anyone? Clock's ticking.'

"These NHS types are ALWAYS complaining about SOMETHING!"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

Lifesaver!

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

Global warming causes widespread flooding, but fortunately scientists were able to locate the giant plug on the ocean floor.

"This is a teaching hospital."

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

Coastguard

'Oh - It's you.'

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

"I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?"

'I'm in hock up to my ears, I work in a dead-end job for eight bucks an hour, my wife and girlfriend are both pregnant - and you think you need help!'

"Well done Carson! This could be the answer to our bed shortage problems!"

From trash to treasure

"Behold! NOW is the accepted time to repent!"

Last Blue Tuna.

'I wish the different international teams of scientists would agree on a standard tagging system...'

"The one time it's good to go with the flow."

'Grandpa stop! That's not a jellyfish! It's a plastic bag!'

A doctor in her kitchen agonizes over the ethics of pulling the plug on her ailing toaster.

'Good news and bad...good, we can use you as spare parts for other people...'

A surf lifesavers' joke.

Thank You...For Everything You Do.

Double life.

"Does anyone know CPR?"

Two children walking on the beach and carrying their sand buckets. One says, 'I'll trade you two tar balls for a syringe.'

An angry crude oil soaked King Neptune about to reap vengeance on two Oil Rig workers for the leak they have just created.

Paramedic

'As long as they're being fished to extinction, we might as well be the ones to do it.'

Prof. H. Heimlich - 'Sorry, the professor is out doing Heimlich maneuvers.'

'Sounds like illegal immigrants.'

'I thought I was a goner until Fred cut the line...'