Lifelong Seeker Pillows

"The meaning of life is demonstrated by the futility of your fool's journey."

Sauvignon Bonk

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

Tango

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Amateur Palmist

Me when by BDD shows up

Wow. You're amazing!

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

That's It

'Forget about me - what can you tell me about the new CEO coming on board?'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'No booze, no red meat, easy on the carbs...I've given up living so I can live longer.'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

Cat and the Eight Ball.

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

Palm Reader...

"They grow up so slow."

"I'll be right back."

'Don't be silly, dear. You don't look a day over one hundred eighty three.'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Horoscope - Look out for Large Windfall (Man crushed by giant apple).