Life's Unfairness Observer Pillows

Wrong Side of the equator.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

You trip on it, you buy it.

Down on Bourbon Street...

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

"He was much more effective in the field."

"Closing averages on the human scene were mixed today. Brotherly love was down two points, while enlightened self-interest gained a half. Vanity showed no movement, and guarded optimism slipped a point in sluggish trading. Over all, the status quo remained unchanged."

Maternity Hospital

Mice 25¢

Will Kill For Food

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Your sister got another promotion."

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

Street: The Magazine for Homeless People

I have a video phone and I'm not afraid to use it.

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."

Old Yarns

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

"Better safe than sorry, son."

Chair massages.

"Auto reply: I am dead and will have limited access to e-mail."

Blogging Shoes

'Hi, it's me, my therapist said I should communicate more...'

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

"May I air-quote you?"

Where the Wild things Aren't.

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'

"Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey following this transaction concerning customer satisfaction?"