Life's Twists Admirer Pillows

"Motorway of Life Police. I'm afraid your husband met with a very nasty accident in the fast line."

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

The Final Selfie

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

If Shakespeare were alive today

'Alas irrefutable confirmation.'

A signaller directing pallbearers

'Well - we are catfish.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel ... let down your hair extensions.'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

Goldilocks and the Three Little Pigs

"David Bowie, dead. Keith Richards, alive. Makes no sense."

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

"I'm less judgmental now that I've failed at everything in life."

"Happy Birthday! Is this a bad time?"

'Goliath! Spent force - Lifetime of drug fuelled addiction. His headline grabbing misdemeanours have sapped his energies.'

"Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Anticipation. Yee haw! Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Nostalgia. Old age. Shoot."

Glen had been depressed ever since deciding to live every day as if it were his last.

'Wh...what? House of straw? House of sticks? But that was so long ago!'

If that slips off and I break a leg, you'll be hearing from my lawyer.

Under Noah's Ark

Gun shop owner dies from arrow in back.

"No, I don't have to sneeze - I'm making a phone call."

An unexpected development during round three of the annual nuclear physics play-off.

"Isn't it incredible that both of is, at this exact same moment are unemployed/"

Take a ride with the reaper.

Today will start off with an interesting twist.

Snake charmer has been eaten by his snake.

"We want two pizzas, in small, nonconsecutive slices."

"I want to huff and puff and blow down a big beautiful wall."