Life's Irony Admirer Pillows

Glen had been depressed ever since deciding to live every day as if it were his last.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Made in China

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

Right-thinking people against wrong-thinking people

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Leaking Hudson River paintings.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Of course no one wants a forest fire anywhere, anytime. It can be devastating. That's why I feel so guilty."

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

'I'm afraid Mr. Caldwell doesn't want to see you now. However, you're free to visit his web site.'

"That's an early Vermeer, very early."

Tsunami Evac Route

"No worries. I'm well-prepped and ready for anything they might throw at me."

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

"Oh sure, it's easy to blame your husband, when he's not here to defend himself."

"I said, you know why women talk more than men?" "What?" "I said, you know why women talk more than men..." "What?"

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

Perfection Troubleshootors.

"The house next door is slated for demolition, but your house is in the way."

An artist creates a sculpture of a "thumbs up" and is then crushed by it.

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I hope there's nothing genetically modified in this."

A signaller directing pallbearers