Life's Grand Entrance Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"As I thought...the carefree extravagant days are over. There's no marble foyer."

Reach for the Star.

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

'And who are you wearing?'

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

"Estoy aqui abajo!" ( I'm down here!)

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"Look at it this way - the more birthdays you have, the longer you live!"

"We have box shapes for every commitment level."

"Well, it's funny, Sid. Every time I've got onr foot in the grave, something interesting happens, so I pull it back out again!"

"Our Trash Dash order is on its way."

Life is about the chase, not the ball. Now go get it!

Closed Thursdays.

'Short brown hair. Very cuddly, good in bed.'

Boho Bribes

"I can't wait 'til we're so close we don't have to talk."

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

'He used to think, now he just googles everything.'

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

You spend way too much time and energy stewing over things, Al

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"I'd say we all have our burrows, Katie. Sure, mine might literally be a hole in the ground... yours might be that inner Katie that nobody really knows."

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

"I think you are exceeding the speed limit."

"It's great that you both enjoy live music, but who are you and how did you get in our garage?"

We only go around once, but it can be quite the loop-de-loop!

At death's door

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

Luckily there are still men with charm and style.