Life's Adventurer T-Shirts

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry trip.

"I've always wanted to live on a lake so I can go boating and fishing. Since we don't live on a lake, I thought I'd make my own."

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"Great, now we're lost."

Bird sitting on a wing.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

'Dad, can you teach me to swim?' 'Well, I'm not much of a swimmer, but I can teach you to tread water. I do that every day at work.'

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

"My Son, of course there were only one set of footprints in the sand. I've got a hoverboard."

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"If you wear these caps backwards, they keep the sun out of your eyes."

'Well, Jimmy, it's your turn to go get it.'

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

Lawrence of Suburbia

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him if I promise to take care of him?'

"No, son, there's no severance package."

"It's not whether you win or lose, sweetie – it's all about networking."

"Excuse me-I'm looking for the dirtiest possible thing I can touch on this street."

'Trick or treatment.'