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Evolution of Chair

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

Occupant.

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Goodnight Social Media.

"If what you don't know can't hurt you, I'm safe from math, English, history, and science."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"Under our new definition of 'what is a sale?', he hasn't made any this year."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

Blues for now.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Our Troubled Chowders

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"What if you go under before I need to?"

Renaissance Zone

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Yeah, work is tough, but nothing compared to coming home and stepping on one of the kids' legos."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Well done, doctor. I've never seen a phone removed from a hand so skillfully before."