Aging Commentator T-Shirts

Jell-O: A Life.

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Pre-Old Blues

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Take a pill so you won't be one.

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.