Life Optimizer Pillows

"Today, we examined our life styles, we evaluated our diet and our exercise program, and we also assessed our behavioral patterns. Then we felt we needed a drink."

The Self-Help Guide to Choosing a Self-Help Guide

'So, what'll it take to put you in a new life today?'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Blowing dust off an order book.

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"Progress is coming right along!"

"Remember, you're only as sick as you feel."

GPs to be encouraged to offer advice on 'lifestyle' issues

'You have the body of a 22 year old man, providing your birthday is February 29th.'

"You said to start the laundry and bathe the cat, so I thought I could save time if..."

Overloaded on Junk Food.

"Lay off the junk food, your pancreas is rusty"

'And I repeat. Live each day as though it were your last.'

"I tried change, it didn't work."

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

"Oh, nice-pulling up the blinds really lets in the light."

"Waking at 2 A.M. is how I stay one step ahead of all the people who wake at 5 A.M."

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you lived at home?"

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese...so what are you going to do about it?"

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

"They expect to get all this into a one-bedroom in Brooklyn."

Simplify Your Life Conference, 1,000s of Exhibits.

'We may have to adjust the gastric band a little.'

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

Dad showing map to graduation to small Son

"It looks like another productive night of sleep and exercise. My smart watch logged seven hours of sleep and over 1,500 steps from sleep walking."

"When I have too much caffeine at work I become nervous, agitated and experience an elevated heart rate. It's at this point that I achieve maximum productivity."

'I think my teacher is very devoted. She always says she's more interested in the outcome than her income.'