Life Insurance Jester Pillows

" ....and your insurance was paid up."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

"#notguilty."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Justice

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I got probation."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'