Life Insurance Jester Pillows

" ....and your insurance was paid up."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"I got probation."

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Justice

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'