Life Expectancy Ponderer T-Shirts

When Bert stopped wondering why, statistically, women outlive men...

'If we didn't live so long we wouldn't eat so much!'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Death coach..."

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Baxter finally gets a life

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

"In a former life, I was exactly the same."

"Woah - random!"

Wally dozes off in the middle of his mid-life crisis.

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'Hello, my name is Death'

What you want in life is sometimes out of reach.

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

"You know, Mother, they say dead is the new 80."

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

The big life questions that really get us thinking.

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'You know the rules, Mr Dotterill - you're only allowed one visitor at a time.'

Information desk at the top of a mountain.

'The Meaning of Life or your life!'

"What if this is all there is?"

"You could try watching your diet or getting more exercise – but you'll just be delaying the inevitable."