License Renewal Pillows

Seatbelt Use

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Route 666

'I need both hands for steering.'

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

'The penguin is upset...'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

Man sees Creative License Bureau

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

Way to go

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

The driverless car

"Says here underage kids can get a hardship license if they have a legitimate reason to drive a car."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

'Try not to smile, sir. Imagine you're looking for a parking space.'

"Then they revoked his hunting license!"

'If you wish to retain my rock star client's talents you're going to need to pay a rock star price.'

Road Signs.

"Those cat nap boxes just appear on their porch every week—it's like magic!"

"I, Matthew, promise to go along to get along."

"As long as we're renewing our vows, I'd like to trade him in for a newer model."

Microsoft Software Detector Van

"Don't cry this time, it is off putting."

"Good news, Turner, We've chewed you up but have decided not to spit you out."

"Things were great until we decided to renew our rows."

'New driver on the information superhighway.'

"Renew our vows! What. . . all of them?!"

Eyeglasses prescription.

'Oh no ... that's not a good sign.'