Employment Contract Renewal Pillows

"Good news, Turner, We've chewed you up but have decided not to spit you out."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

"To be clear you are willing to labor under misconceptions?"

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

Wedding selfie stick

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

Old Love

"Randy the love doctor, what ails you, brother?" "My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony." "But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike?" "Of course." "That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all." "Exactly. ...Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Will you still love me when I'm old and past it?"

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"As long as we're renewing our vows anyway, I've come up with a few new ones."

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'

Woman: 'I, Linda...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.' / Man:'And I, Shaun...will ALWAYS, A,E,I,O,U.'

"I'm just pricing this second honeymoon you've been on about. . . were you thinking of tagging along?"

"My parents must have forgotten what they learned in school. I heard them talking about renewing their vowels."

'Tell me, Sadie -just how many times is it now that we have been gathered here today?'

"When we have fun, we really have fun."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

Ask Sadie. Sadie, how do you keep the romance alive in a senior relationship? Signed, Randy. *Actual reader question. I'd like to bring in my correspondent to handle this one. Oh, do I have to, Snookums? I don't know what to say to these people. I think I'm going to take a pass. DO IT OR NO NOOKIE FOR YOU UNTIL 2029. Communication and compromise.

For our 25th anniversary, I think we should renew our vow not to kill each other.

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

'Well, I am only human!' (Human Resources)

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

Of course my love is unconditional! We put it in the pre-nup, remember?

A dancing couple