License Learner T-Shirts

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

'He lost his licence after 35 years and it's been that long since he's walked anywhere!'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

Bob's Driving School.

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'I need both hands for steering.'

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

"You got a D in English and an E in French, but Swedish isn't a problem?!"

Illegal Immigrants

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"Thank you for 30 years of teaching service. Now you have 5 minutes to turn in your keys, I.D. card, empty your desk and be escorted out."

Stay in school until 18 or no driver's license!

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

'My French is not so good.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

After working 80 hours a week for 30 years, Raymond was struggling to adjust to retirement.

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'It's nice that you've learned to tie your shoes, but you're really too young to quit while you're ahead.'

'I learned a new word today.'

"Tia Carmen, there are Spanish knock-knock jokes! But you're supposed to say 'toc-toc.'"

Apparently I didn't learn enough. They say I have to come back tomorrow. Welcome to Kindergarten.