Lens Learner T-Shirts

'Poor George-He can't get use to those contact lenses.'

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

"...L...uh, M...uh Q...how come there are so many darn letters in the alphabet anyway?"

A boy with a camera

Baby kangaroo learning to play the trumpet.

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

How's your nephew doing in human school this year? Great! He has a calculator and spell checker like last year, and this fall new features have been added. With new translation software he can take language classes now, and for social studies he just clicks "history." Bonjour! I'm so proud! He has the school's highest G.P.A.! Other students can't copy off him anymore because he started using encrypted code. His favorite upgrade is the enhanced ability to process school lunches. He's bee

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Illegal Immigrants

"Baldo, Gracie...you need to learn more Spanish. For the rest of the week, I'm going to speak nothing but Spanish, and Tia Carmen will act as your interpreter, OK? Tienen tarea?"

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

"You got a D in English and an E in French, but Swedish isn't a problem?!"

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'Pretend you don't notice him.'

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

University of Hard Knocks

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'My French is not so good.'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

'What did you learn at university today?'