License Dodger Pillows

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'Why is it always me that has to put the cat out?'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"I'm the designated driver."

Revenuers will be shot.

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

"Just two paragraphs from our internet provider's terms and conditions agreement and she was out like a light."

'Relax - someone will be looking for us...the Inland Revenue...the T V licence people...'

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

Football - How's my Diving?

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

"Just you wait 'till your father comes home!"

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

Businesspeople gather in bedroom setting 'They can't regulate us in here.'

"No, you may not request a change of venue."

"I've never been in there. Most of my down-time is spent in the Principal's office."

"I didn't make the Dean's list, but I made the Principal's list."

"Do you know how many followers I've got?"

"Brian's New Year's resolution is to spend more time on the treadmill."

'Now you're out of order!!'

"Man-to-man talk, Randy." "Proceed, friend." "If you were being audited, and you may have accidentally burned all your receipts and ledgers...would it be manlier to run away to a country that has no extradition treaty with the ours, or to weasel out of it by ratting out an even bigger tax cheat?" "Or, would it be manlier to frame the auditor for a crime he didn't commit?" "Gonna have to take a day to think about this one."

"Sorry, Cruz, I flunked my history test...and now I'm grounded."

Don't tax me, bro