Library Science Pillows

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

The Dorrie Decimal System

'What's the point of shelving books, they just check them out again anyway!'

"It appears the outreach program is working!"

"That book is kept downstairs in the Big Secret Important Book Room."

Egyptology Books form Pyramid

"Why did you tell him you're a librarian? It's embarrassing to have him give YOU money!"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Big Bang Theory.

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Meet the scribe"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

The Bookworm

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'