Lexical Adventurer T-Shirts

'It's the longest known palindrome in English.'

Campaign for Plain English

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

A is for App...B is for Blogger...C is for Celebrity.

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"I'm stuck for the 'June-moon' rhyme in Serbo-Croatian."

Alphabet soup

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

'A xebec and fluyt passed a heptad of shilpit grugrus.'

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

A Semicolon.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

"I've been an accountant, an actuary, an advertising exec, an administrator, an architect, an art director, and an auditor, and now I'd like to move on to the B's."

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

'My teacher was right about how many words you can make with just twenty six letters.'

"When I agreed to learn the ABC's, I thought D through Z would be optional."

'Let's have a race to say the alphabet.'

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

"My alphabet soup doesn't make any sense. How do I run it through spell check?"

'The rozzer in the dorp had never seen a quod.'

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

'It wasn't me - but I'm sure whoever did it had a good reason. Looks, charm and 10 aliases only get you so far.'

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

"It's just force of habit. When I say 'cavemen' I of course mean 'cavepersons'."