Letting Agent Pillows

"Location, location, location."

"So make me an offer."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Almost sold.

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

House viewing

"Here's a one-bedroom in the heart of downtown with it's own dedicated parking spot, which can be reached by a convenient twenty-minute cab ride."

"This place is perfect. It must have been built for us."

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

'23-D meet 17-C, sublet...'

"Of course, it's hard to tell what a place really looks like without furniture."

"It's a mixed-use building."

Beware of the Landlord

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

'What zip code are we in now?'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"First class, or with children?"

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport