Letting Agent T-Shirts

"Location, location, location."

"So make me an offer."

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Almost sold.

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

House viewing

"This place is perfect. It must have been built for us."

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

'23-D meet 17-C, sublet...'

"Of course, it's hard to tell what a place really looks like without furniture."

"It's a mixed-use building."

Beware of the Landlord

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'What zip code are we in now?'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"First class, or with children?"

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'