Letter Writer Gifts

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'I'm writing to my penfriend - what's French for 'parents', 'old-fashioned' and 'unreasonable'?'

Letter from Camp* (*with Footnotes)

'My leter to the editor lost a lot of its punch since they made it fit to print.'

"He's giving Dorothy Thompson a piece of his mind."

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Remember that Op-Ed piece you wrote last month?...'

'It's only a placebo.'

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

"He thinks it's important to communicate with his plants."

'the tire and swinging vine was for the children; the 800 pounds of bananas were when mother visited us last week.'

'You'll want to put a Forever Stamp on your letter to Ms. LuRue,Tru-Love Romances, right?'

''Return to Sender'...? Dang! - I brought the wrong ENVELOPE!'

'Dear Dr. Phil,...'

'It's been forty years, Wendell -- Annette Funicello is NOT going to answer your letter!'

'You're lucky: I can't have a penpal 'cause we don't have a fixed address...'

'...No, I'm not computer literate. I write letters with a pen occasionally writing them with a thing called a typewriter!'

"So you can write your letter to Santa. That's why you need to learn the alphabet."

"It's grandmom's idea of a text message...a letter."

Penfriend

"Reading and writing are important, Kevin. Our teacher says we need to write letters to the newspaper editor demanding more school funding."

"I still like getting snail mail except for the slime!"

"That angry letter I wrote to the editor came back. She corrected my grammar."

"My grandma writes me letters like that. I call it the Grandma Font."

Santa Claus's Mail

"She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop." "That's just like your mother."

"Dear diary, what the heck did you do with my car keys?!"

"'Dear Mrs. Zeus?!' The name's Hera!"

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

Writing Love Letters

'It's very public-spirited to write your congressman, Millard, but Joe McCarthy has been dead for years!'

'Dear Folks, Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Letters Editor

Uncomfortably open Mike night.