Lens Aficionado Gifts

Photographic Club.

"It took all day, but we finally got there."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Television Readers.

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

100 best beheadings

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"He's an indoor cat."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'Could you pass me my - oh thankyou.'

How the goat got square eyes.

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

How I met your mother

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

A boy with a camera

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Couch and Potato

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

The Plasmas.

"In da house"