Lemon Experimenter T-Shirts

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

"Young Frankenstein"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Cookbooks

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

Lockdown casserole

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'