Lemon Experimenter T-Shirts

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

"Young Frankenstein"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Cookbooks

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Lockdown casserole

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'